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Eating while pregnant or breastfeeding

August 8, 2017

One of the things I craved while I was pregnant (the three times I was pregnant) was burgers and fries. However, living with my in laws during the last pregnancy, it wasn’t easy getting a burger down or even getting close to a burger. My in laws are Korean and they suggested I eat home made food and also made sure I got enough rice on my plate.

However, since I grew up in North America and since I always have a specifically preferred dish in my mind (I literally plan out what I want to eat for my next meal while eating) it was hard spending the two trimesters in Korea.

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Parenting Notes Reviews&Ratings

The Baby stuff I use

June 15, 2017

One of the difficult things about raising a child (other than being sleep deprived for the first year and mentally going crazy) is picking which item to use for your precious little one. It was hard for me when I had Josh because I was in Korea, I had no idea what to buy, no idea what I needed and didn’t have a friend to ask. So I had to my own research and find out on my own.

With Tyler being born, I knew exactly what worked, what I needed and how much of the items I needed to buy.

So I decided to do a post on these “BABY STUFF” that worked for me and my children.

This may not work for you and your child but it’s a list that I’d like to share for all moms.

Thermometer.

I use the forehead thermometer from BRAUN and the in ear one from the inexpensive PORORO brand. BRAUN thermometers are really expensive. I got this one in Singapore for about 80 dollars.

However, I like to have at least two in the house so that I have a second opinion. Sometimes the temperature comes out weird and I have to measure it four or five times. For those times, I keep an extra thermometer so that I know exactly what range I’m looking at.

The Pororo brand from Korea is around then bucks and works as an ear thermometer and a forehead thermometer. It works great!

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Parenting Notes

Discipline during playtime | 놀이중 훈육

August 29, 2016

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가끔씩 다른 어떤 아기 엄마 친구는.
애들이 때리고 맞는 상황에서도. (우리 아들들 = 항상 맞는 역할)
자기 아이의 감정 상태를 먼저 읽어준답시고. (어디서 고따구로 배웠길래…!)
‘어어~~ xx이가 친구가 네 장난감을 쳐다봐서 속상했었어? 맞아 엄마도 그럴 땐 속상해. 그런데 친구를 때리면 안되지요? 우쭈쭈’
이 따위 소리를 하고 앉아있는 걸 볼 때 마다. 내 속이 뒤집어지는 줄 알았다.

아이 감정 중요한데.
아이 클 수록 나 개인적으로는.
내 새끼 감정 읽어주는 걸 먼저 할 게 있고.
따끔하게 가르쳐야할 공공의 규칙을 아이의 감정 읽어주기 보다 앞서서 알려줘야할 게 있다.
때로는 아이 감정 읽어주는 것보다 먼저되어야할 단호함이라는게 있는 법이다.
어쩌면. 내가 군인이었던 아빠 밑에서 그렇게 자라서 그게 몸에 베어 이안. 이삭이를 그렇게 키우는 까닭도 있겠지.
[출처] 33 / 52|작성자 쉬크얀맘 인 싱가포르 http://blog.naver.com/jangjul0205/220797768931

와.. 정말 언니의 이 글을 보는 순간 “띠용~~~” 그리고 공감 버튼을 정말 100번도 넘게 눌러주고 싶었다. 요즘 내가 생각하는 것들 중 하나인 바로 “엄마의 훈육”.

But really, is there such a thing as correct discipline? No really, seriously. It’s not a RIGHT or WRONG thing when it comes to disciplining a child. Every child is different, every mother is different and every situation is different. We can’t apply every rule or guideline that is given to us.

A while ago, I don’t even remember when exactly but I had a mother and her son over at our house. The kids played while the mother and I were talking and her son hit Andrea. On the head. Andrea obviously cried. The mother just said to her son “hey don’t hit her”. Not in a strict, mommy is going to give you a time out or spanking kind of way but in a very soft-spoken way. Then in about half an hour, the boy and Andrea were fighting over a xylophone stick. The boy was 1 year older than Andrea, he was stronger and bigger, so the end result of the fight or conflict between the two was obvious. However, I don’t like leaving kids at that young age to resolve this on their own because it could end up becoming very physical. As I approached the two of them the boy grabbed the stick and hit Andrea. More like he scraped Andrea’s chest with the stick. Pointy side against her. Andrea ended up with a really big scar on  her chest down to her belly due to this.

Now here’s the interesting part. The mother. What did she do? She just said to her boy that it was a very rude thing to do. She said that SHE was sorry to Andrea. Yes, the boy didn’t leave the scar on Andrea on purpose, but he did hit her on the head. But she didn’t make her child apologise. She just apologised to Andrea and what was the boy doing while all this was happening? He was in our master bedroom playing with the xylophone.

This totally was not logical to me. It didn’t make any sense to my head. That’s why I don’t keep in touch with them. After this, I didn’t respond to any of the mother’s texts or playdate suggestions.

There’s a saying in Korea that goes “a child’s fight turns into a mother’s fight”. I really didn’t want to go that far so I just ignored everything and shut them out of my life and my child’s.

After this incident, I learned to discipline my children in a very strict, bold and sometimes mean way. On the spot, when it happens and with enough impact that they understand, it’s wrong and very NOT nice to do. If needed I sometimes yell and even spank my kids. However, this is my way of disciplining. I’m not saying everyone should follow these standards. I’m not saying every child should be talked to like this. I’m also not saying I do this ALL THE TIME. ONLY WHEN IT IS NEEDED. But there are those very few mothers (and sometimes fathers) out there that really make me squint my eyes and say “WHAT THE HECK?!?’.

Those parents are the ones that are like the ones mentioned in 쉬크얀맘’s post. The ones that are so understanding and so calm about the situation that it’s ridiculous. “Oh, were you mad that your friend took this toy? I would be mad too. But you have to share and be nice”. HUH? WHAT?! That’s it?! If my kid took YOUR CHILD’S TOY at YOUR HOUSE and hit YOUR KID in the middle of this, I would have taken my kid into an empty room and smacked sense into him! Literally!!

Why would I have done that? Because children need to know HOW to handle situations like this and learn what morals and standards to follow. They are called MANNERS. Life manners, living manners and public community manners. Whatever you want to call them. My child would have to know that this is not the situation to make a fuss because it’s not HIS HOUSE, they are not HIS TOYS and to hit someone is BAD. BAD BAD BAD!!!! If my child didn’t get this on the spot and my disciplining didn’t have enough impact on him or her to NOT do that ever again. Then they will eventually do it again. Someone else’s child will get hurt and hearts will be broken due to this. That’s why.

I also would act upon it because we as parents need to teach children to respect others and their belongings. For the parent to know HOW to approach this is HOW a child would know and learn how to SHOW respect for peers and friends.

I once said to one of my friends that if a mother doesn’t have any friends and the mother and child are always just meeting new people and new play groups, then there’s a reason why.

Okay, 그 엄마랑 아들을 우리 삶에서 완전히 차단 시켜버린게 조금은 잔인하고 냉정했을수도 있겠지만. 나는 기본적으로 “인식” 을 못하는 사람, 눈치가 없어서 본인이 무엇을 잘못했는지 뭐때문에 상대방이 기분이 나쁜지 모른다던가 아니면 사과를 해야 하는것 자체를 이해 못하고 모르고 있는 사람은 나와 가치관도 안맞고, 인간 관계의 기본이 없다고 생각하기에 잘 했다고 생각한다.

난 그 누구의 훈육 방법도, 그 어느 엄마의 육아 가치관도 옳고 틀리다고 말하는 것도 아니고. I’m just saying if your child is constantly hitting other children and conflicts with other children keep arising. Then maybe it’s time to take things to the next level and act upon it instead of just trying to show your child “mommy understands you’re mad but please be nice”.

Don’t just treat your child as your forever baby, TEACH them what they need to learn to become a respectful HUMAN BEING.

Parenting Notes

A Mom’s Guide to Home Organization

August 18, 2016

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정말 진짜. 말 그대로인다. Exactly like the book title. It’s a Mom’s guide to home organization. 정말 누구나 다 아는 요점들일수도 있다. 그러나 그렇다고해서 식상하게 다 아는 이야기를 해주는 책은 아니다. 정말 필요했던. “맞아. 그렇게 하는게 맞는건데.. 아! 저렇게 해야 되는거지!” 라고 외치게끔 아주 간단하고 질서 있게 정리를 해준 책이다.

I wasn’t planning on reading this book until we moved into our own place. Our place that we didn’t rent but OWNED. OUR PLACE. I wanted to read this then and make sure that I had all the points down to keep that house, our home, clean and organized. But when Andrea took this book out of the shelf and handed it me, it was as if God was telling me to read this and start acting on it.

I finished the first 30 pages in one reading and thought I should start doing what the author was doing right away. I started with writing things down (I normally do this cause I forget so many things, all the time) and then started organizing my time with the kids time. It was really helpful for the first week. Then I lost track because I was lazy and then it just all fell apart. Then I realized how much kayos my brain was going through and set simple goals (only 3 per week) and tried to stick with the plan as much as I could. OMG it helped so much. I’m not associated with the author of this book or anything to do with it. I just really think this is a good book for moms. It’s the most simple, down to basics and organized book. It reminds you of the things you already know or already doing. It takes everything that’s probably cluttered inside your head and just lays it all out on the table for you. In an organized way so that you don’t miss any points.

아 정말 이걸 읽으면서 나는 정말 그동안 머리로 생각만하고 제대로 뭘 한게 하나도 없구나.. 싶은게. 정말 깊은 반성을 했다. 내일부터는 다시 또 back on track 해야지 하면서 엄마로써 아이들에게 최선을 다하면서도, 내 자신을 챙기고 사랑하는 엄마가 돼야 한다는걸 다시한번 다짐해본다.

Parenting Notes

Three year old’s TANTRUMS

August 27, 2015

So….

Josh’s tantrums have been getting pretty out of hand lately. He screams and starts crying about literally NOTHING.

It can start by anything. The iPad getting tipped over, Andrea touching his face, the toys falling off the sofa, something breaking or a car toy not working properly etc etc.

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When this whole thing started to get pretty crazy (I mean like he cries and screams and does the feet and leg thing on the floor then starts to jump up and down etc) I started reading and searching on parents.com for advice on this kind of behavior. There are lots of tips and advice coming from REAL parents and doctors, however, I found them to just be advice written down. Nothing seemed to be working and I was getting more and more frustrated at Josh that I really did spank him once.

Then I started to think about WHY Josh was acting this way and WHY he would only do this with me. When he’s with Kaden, he’s fine. Even when my mother in law is babysitting him, he’s fine. These breakdowns and tantrums ONLY happen with ME. As I started to think back on when this started happening, it started a little after Andrea was born. Josh wasn’t very jealous of Andrea and didn’t have issues like this when we were in Vancouver. So I started thinking about WHY he wasn’t like this before but was getting worse. To give you my answer first, it was because he was preoccupied with many things at my parents place. He had lots of toys, he had friends to play with and he had THINGS to do, like arts and crafts and painting. Here in our Singapore house…… well…. he just has a couple of trucks and CAT toys to play with.

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