The notebook

What do I say? What do I write? What can I say? What can I write?
I never liked writing. I’ve said this before. I just hated writing.
The only reason I started a blog was so that I can REMEMBER everything. Cause I have a really bad memory-card in my brain. I think I might just not have a good processor or whatever the hell you call the thing that makes your head work right.

I always wanted to be a good writer though. I wanted to be able to express my feelings and be able to express the warm, orange Pantone fall sunsets. But, as you can already tell, this is all I could come up with. No fancy words or metaphoric phrases or even just detailed simple descriptions. Nope. Couldn’t do it.

That’s why I’m in a dilemma right now. What the heck am I supposed to do with this beautiful “Dok-Do” notebook?! Seriously!?

First off, why do they have to make these notebooks so god damn pretty!? It’s like THE NOTEBOOK! Ah! I hate it when designers and publishers do this! It’s like you have to buy the notebook and you just have to have it cause it’s so “out of this world” PRETTY!! Luckily I got this one for free from the 7321 store. My favorite (BTW) for journals and notebooks. Anyways, going back to the point.

What the hell am I going to write in this “beautiful” yet oh so fancy and sophisticated notebook?! I have no idea!?!??!!!!

I feel like I have to write something super good and wise or something that I can pass down on to my children or something! It’s like it has to be something precious and sacred! Uh! I hate this!

I really don’t want to waste this and rip pages out of it. I really, and I say this from the bottom of my heart, I really don’t want to “just” use it. I don’t want to make it so that it turns into a “normal” and just “any” notebook.

First I wanted to just use it so that I could write whatever I was thinking about but then I thought “I hate handwriting things” cause it just takes too much time and I can’t organize my thoughts. I’m NOT like those writers who have a special writing pen and go writing in their notebooks when something “comes up.” NOPE. Not that kind of a human being.

Then I thought maybe I should keep all my special recipes in this book? I usually just randomly search for recipes and then keep a stash somewhere in a folder on my Macbook. But the problem is, I don’t really remember where and in which folder they are in.

Then! Lastly, I thought about writing letters to my children in this notebook. Then I thought it was just too much. It’s not like I’m going anywhere soon or sick (and by sick, you know what I mean) and so that was a goner.

I want to keep this as a meaningful and special diary or journal or notebook or whatever the hell it becomes. But. I’m all out of ideas now.

What should I do?