Reading and Drinking, BAD

Why does Jenny Han always have to be bang on with her writing? She makes me feel so guilty or sometimes even jealous. Not of her. But of the characters in her books. She shapes them so well! Then she makes me think of me. She ends up making me look back as a girl, as a teenager, as an adult, as a woman and then lastly as a mother.

It’s weird how she always gets to me at the end of each book. Well, I’m in the middle of this one so I guess she got me a little early this time.

I’m sitting in the study room. On my Macbook. Thinking back to all that has happened to the main characters in this book. Then I stop to get myself a Terra (it’s Korean beer, VERY GOOD Korean beer I must say) and McDee’s that was leftover from lunch. Just a few chicken nuggets and few fries.

I have Jewels foolish games on. I didn’t actually look it up and play it. I just have random music on that I’m listening with my Airpods on. The kids are sleeping. I know for sure that Josh is sleeping but Andrea is maybe about half asleep and Tyler… That kid has just lost his daily routine or sleeping pattern or whatever the hell you call it.

Recently, the more I read, the more I miss Vancouver (not saying home and saying Vancouver makes it feel like I’m not from that city. Maybe I should just stick with saying home). I miss the smell of fresh-cut grass in the spring. I miss going to IGA and Superstore to get groceries. I miss going to the mall to just hang around. Ha! Hang around. This seems to make me sound older than I actually am. I miss my friends and I miss… I don’t know. I guess I just miss everything I had when I was living in Canada.

Ouff. As I type the word “miss” Puff Daddy’s “I’ll be missing you” comes on. What a coincidence.

I wonder what it would have been like if I hadn’t moved to Korea. If I had just stayed in Vancouver back then. If I had just stayed. I probably would have met a white dude and got married in a barn or something. Right? I’m not trying to be racist here but that’s truly what would have happened. I know for sure.

But I don’t like imagining the “what if’s”. I always hate regretting something and it always makes you so sad and shameful. Well, that’s what I think.

I had so much to say when I wanted to sit and write something. Right now, I’m so blank and don’t really know what exactly it is I want to say.

So sad.

Because I had so much in my head right before I sat down with this can of beer and McDees leftovers.

Okay, now it’s Savage Garden with “I want you”. I used to love this song!

I know, so random, right?

I think THE one can of beer is kicking in. Maybe I should just go to bed. Aw. I wish I could just have one day to myself and just read allllll dayyyyy without any, and I really mean it, ANY interruptions.

OMG, It’s Blackstreet, No Diggity

I now remember how much I used to love this song and how many times I would listen to it!!! Uh. I just remembered it’s my mother-in-law’s birthday tomorrow. In Korean tradition, you’re supposed to eat seaweed soup on your birthday. Usually, if it’s the younger person’s birthday then the older people like your mom or mother in law or grandma are supposed to cook it. But if it’s the older person’s birthday, then the younger person or their spouse cooks it.

Uh. I can hear Tyler crying through my Airpods. Nice. Great timing. I guess I should go and boil up some seaweed soup and get Tyler to bed.