A Blank Canvas Wall

Life always hits you with surprises. It never fails to. Always, something unexpected. Abruptly it just comes up without warning. When those moments pass, you look back and pat yourself on the back. Congratulating yourself on how good you got over that life bump. Telling yourself how good of a job you did. But as you’re slowing approaching that climax. The one tiny top peak point, you’re dreading the moment of facing it. Although you know how well you’re going to overcome that moment and get through it. You have that faith and that belief but still, you feel scared.

You wish you can go back to the white canvas wall that you were in front of. Making everything go away to how it was before. But you know you can’t. Cause turning back time only happens in movies.

Wishing for something was always something on my list. I wish, I wish, and then one day it becomes “I used to wish.” But it never really truly comes through. My wishes are just wishes. They don’t become reality. I never a chance to even get my hopes up. Because, well, I just don’t get the chance.

It’s a true irony how you take life for granted for such a long period of time and then you find out the worst can also happen to you. Unprepared. It just hits you. Then like the main characters in a movie, you understand why people get so thankful for the smallest things in life in those movies.

The sparkling water, the red autumn leaves, the fresh and cool breeze, etc. You look closely, you observed carefully and you thank God for letting you be able to look at this world with such a different point of view.

Yeap. You guessed it. That’s what I’m going through. It might not be anything. It might not be a life-threatening issue and it might not be anything at all. But a health issue has come up. I’m not trying to make a big deal out of it because I know it’s not going to be something that’ll kill me now. But I wanted to just write something that left a record of how I feel right now. So that later on, I can look back at this and laugh my head off.