When I had Josh, I gained about 13kgs during my whole pregnancy term. When I had Andrea, I gained about 22kgs during my pregnancy. When I had Tyler, I gained about 19kgs. I went from weighing 51kgs to 64kgs, then down to 52kgs to 74kgs, down back to 56kgs then up to 75kgs. I remember looking in the mirror about 3 months after giving birth and just hating my body.
I was just FAT all the time. Well to me, that’s what I felt like. To me, that’s what I looked like when I looked in the mirror. I didn’t want to wear anything that would make me look bigger and I didn’t want to go outside. I didn’t want to do anything. I wanted to give birth to my baby and get my weight down. I was literally obsessed.
I didn’t know what to do and how to start getting back into shape. I didn’t want to workout like a crazy lady and I didn’t want to give up on the food I was eating (and I wasn’t going all junkie on the food and diet. I was eating healthy food). I also didn’t want to TRY. I was lazy. I admit it. I was. I didn’t want to do anything. I wanted to just wake up one day and be in the body I had before getting married. That was the truth. But after giving birth to Andrea postpartum depression also hit me hard. It was hard to get myself up mentally and physically. I was just down down down
I tried to eat better and tried to workout at home. I searched for videos on Youtube so that I could get fit. THEN, I found out I was pregnant with Tyler.
It was as if at each point in life I tried to do something for myself, I got pregnant. It was as if God was saying something to me. So I let go again. That’s when I walked down the path of “fat” Vicky again.
Hey, but you know what? Now that I’m at where I am. I know God made me walk that road for a reason and I really didn’t need to worry. Cause right now. I am more fit than ever. Even when I was a full time dancer/choreographer. I am eating better and working out more than ever.
Here’s how I brought ME back.
I stopped worrying about the way I looked and tried to see myself as how I was. I was a bit over weight yes but that didn’t mean I wasn’t beautiful. I was still a beautiful person.
I cut down all the snacks I was eating during the first week. Then the next week I didn’t eat dinner but would drink a cup of milk or almond milk if I was really hungry. Then the week after I cut out bread. I EAT A LOT of BREAD. I am a bread lover and this part was really hard but I needed to do it. Then the week after I cut down on sugar and coffee. Then anything fried. Then any instant food. By the time I was at week 8, I had lost almost 7 kgs. In a good way. I was working out from home and I did all of this on my own, working out on my own and it didn’t matter if I messed up on a day. I would just start over.
Now, I am 53kgs. Feeling better than ever and loving all the clothes I can fit into again.
Looking back, it all just had to do with my self-esteem and how much I believed in myself. It all had to do with me loving myself. When I didn’t like me, I was just hitting the bottom rock. When I did start to love myself and take care of myself I was going uphill again with nothing blocking me.
Right now, I found myself again and am damn proud of it.