Fitting in

Ever since I was a child, it was hard for me to fit in. In any circle of people, it was hard. I remember when we first moved to Marietta, Georgia USA. I was in grade 1 at the time and I didn’t speak a word of English. I went to school every day thinking “I hope we move again”, “I really don’t want to go to school”. I hated it when the ESL teacher would come to our classroom to pick me up. I always wondered why I was the only one who went with her. I thought I had done something horribly wrong and that I was going to be punished. ESL class didn’t seem like ESL class, I thought I was learning on my own with this teacher cause I had done something wrong. I figured out it was ESL class when I was in grade four, when I didn’t need it anymore.

When we moved back to Korea from the United States, it was even harder for me to fit in. I did’t speak a word of Korean and I went to a private school. It was even harder than when we had first moved to the States. It felt like learning the Korean language was even more difficult than ever!

When our family moved to Canada, I felt like it was some kind of never ending loop of moving and trying to fit it. I hated moving and I hated the fact I had to adjust to another school and make new friends again.

I felt like the world was against me and every single day, I didn’t want to go to school. But I made friends and I because I loved to dance, I made dance friends. I think that’s how I got through high school.

But the irony is… I moved back to Korea cause of Kaden and even with Kaden we moved to Singapore and then back to Korea. It was like a move after another. I didn’t have any friends in Singapore I could really talk to about things in depth. When I came back to Korea I still didn’t have friends. But there’s something I’ve been noticing lately.

Ever since we moved to this new apartment, I’ve been meeting people who live in the same complex. I’ve been meeting people and making friends a bit and it really surprised me how kind and generous Korean people are.

Like this Thank You card I just got. A kind lady posted on the community cafe that she wanted to give away kids books and so I asked for them. She wrote me a thank you note and also put in a jar of JAM to go along with the books! I was like WHHHHHAAUUUUUT~~~~????

I thought Korean people were so selfish and arrogant. That’s the image I got from all the people I worked with but I guess I was wrong.