Growing pains

The past few weeks have been very difficult for all of us. We have been going through lots of growing pains and by doing so, I think we’ve all grown up more and have opened our minds + hearts.

When your child turns 10, they start to really start using their brains. This is when they really start to figure things out. They know exactly how they feel about something or their curiosity about certain things boost up. We read about how the child’s brain works in so many books and yet we only acknowledge it in our minds and put it aside. We don’t actually take the time and effort to understand our children and allow them to be just, them.

The society that we live in (especially Korea) articulates the child’s learning process in which they must follow the system. If they do not do so, they “lack” or “fall behind” in everything that comes along the next semester. Public school education makes their brains shift from creative, fun and open minded thinkers to academic, systematic and very strict minds. Children start this process in Korea at the age of 10, when they become grade 3 and start the academic “systemized” learning then. They are given a timetable with a study period of 5 to 6 blocks and must achieve a certain level of achievement in order to fall into the category of “the average” student.

If not, they are labeled as the “ones who are behind”. The teachers don’t bring this, the students don’t but the education system itself does. It’s created in a way where the students don’t “learn” to “utilize and use” but to “learn” and be “graded on.”

They go through a stressful timetable of content that is not just stressful but also useless in the real world. They are forced into a wave of stressful learning where their minds don’t ever get the opportunity to express their opinions and emotions about certain things. They are not allowed to. They must only look straight ahead and move forward. Along with the rest of the cattle.

Josh has been showing lots of negative attitude towards school. He has been saying things like “why do I have to do this?” or “I really don’t want to do this. I just want to rest and relax.” He has also been very frustrated or would procrastinate about everything he has to do.

I know kids go through phases in life and this is probably one of them. However, as he grows and shows these emotions or views on the responsibilities in life. It literally makes me reflect back upon myself. It makes me think “did I ever say that or do that in that kind of way in front of my children?” or “what did I do when I needed to do something similar along those lines?”

I have always been a busy person. I worked hard on everything and anything that was brought upon my plate. I would look for things to do and make things to do if I didn’t have any. However, it seems like that part of me has made my son become very tired of just watching his mom work and keep on striving for more.

Either way, it seems like I’ve brought this upon ourselves. So, I’m going through these growing pains and making sure we fully recover and heal.

How?

I don’t quite know yet. But, I’m praying God will show us the way.