Missing Home

My parent’s always lived rent. We never had our “own home” while living together. My parent’s always said that when the time came to buy a house, God would let them know and that for now, it was meant to be like that. I always hated that. I hated moving. I hated having to adjust to a new school and make new friends. I think I was most uncomfortable when we lived in Korea for about 2 and a half years. My Korean was super duper bad, I didn’t understand a thing at school. I hated city life and most of all I missed my friends in the U.S.

Although I was getting better at adjusting to the life of a grade 5 elementary school student in Korea, I still missed my friends, the neighbourhood I lived in and what I did in my spare time. Then I found out I was going to move again. This time to Canada. Langley BC Canada to be exact.

My dad knew how much I hated moving. So during my summer vacation from school, we went to Langley for about a month to “just take a look” and see what it was like. I fell in love the moment I got there. I loved the city of Langley. Back then it was quieter and less developed. The train tracks and the road that led towards where we stayed was so nice and peaceful. Glover Road. I still remember. I miss it dearly.

The most recent place my parents lived in had a grape vine in the back yard. There was a chicken house underneath it and the grapes grew above their house.

I used to love sitting in the back yard and sipping on my cup of coffee in the afternoon. The afternoon sun would gently lay down on the grape vines and make it seem like the grapes needed the warmness from the sun too.

My view was always a grass yard with big trees and the grapes. There was also a hazelnut tree behind it too. I am so regretful of the fact that I don’t have a picture of this view. It was my favourite time of the day. No matter what, I would just sit in my little spot and enjoy the sunset.

I titled this post “Missing Home” because of two reasons. One, I really do miss Langley, literally and two, I think my “immigration life” is coming to its full capacity. By saying that I mean, I am a foreigner here in Korea and being a foreigner is not easy at all. I feel and look Korean however, I don’t feel like I fit in. “Adjusting” and the adjustment phase is over, but I feel like the time has come to go home and recharge. To go and just release me from the tight, nervous and fixed frame I’ve been living in. I now understand why my mom wanted to go to Korea so much when I was in high school. I now understand why she was so sad at times and why she used to zone out a bit.

Life right now is very complicated and emotions are flying out like some random tree leaf falling cause of the wind. But what I do know for sure is that I miss home. I miss Langley. I miss my friends. I miss the sunset. I miss the scent of the trees. I miss Willowbrook Mall. I miss my bestie unni Helen.