No matter what country you live in, no matter what culture you come from. The society and the generation of this world, today, live as humans obsessed with numbers. It all goes back to tests and exams that evaluate your level of education or “how much you have understood” by what percentage you get. Even your IQ is measured through tests and evaluations that end with specific numbers on your record.
My parents used to say to me “It doesn’t matter what grades you get, as long as you are confident you have done your best and have happy moments in between.” That’s what I believed. But when it came to provincials and getting into the university I wanted to get the education from. I had to have the numbers. GPA’s were important and they needed to be a certain number or higher. That meant, in order to “get what you want and where you want to be” a certain number had to be the outcome of everything. The end result needed to be a number.
That realization got me into college and got me into a company. But the numbers game didn’t stop there. HR gave me performance grades, my sales numbers and average “grade” had to be maintained to a certain amount in order to stay in the company and receive the benefits I wanted.
The numbers didn’t stop there. It was never-ending. Even my social life (I thought I didn’t really have one but now that I think about it, I did) was calculated and measured. By how many followers I had, how many online friends I had on Facebook and how many times my Tweets got re-Tweeted. It wasn’t the people around me who evaluated and judged me on these things. It was myself. I was being pulled into a society that was so obsessed with these numbers that I was turning myself into something of their kind. I was judging myself to be a certain number, at a certain number and maintain that number.
No one taught me how to let go of that. I had to learn the hard way. I had to go through everything on my own and pull myself out. It wasn’t easy. It was actually pretty difficult. It was a life of “showing” and “proving” I was worth being friends with. Or worth working with.
The whole process of this life of numbers came to a point when it all just became natural. Which was wrong. I knew it was wrong but I didn’t know what exactly about it was wrong. I only came to this realization a few years ago, when Josh wanted to film a Youtube video and upload it on my channel. At the end of each segment, he would say “please subscribe and press like!” That was so weird, coming from a 5-year-old. But I just brushed it off and thought it was funny.
Then a few months later, Andrea started saying it too. Then Tyler. It was like a really big tsunami that hit me straight in the head. It made me think about the important things I needed to teach my children, and how I was going to approach it. Putting it into words and organizing everything from stage 1 and explaining everything was so hard! I remember thinking to myself, I wish I had a machine or something that could just take my thoughts and analyze everything to come up with a solution or a manual for my kids.
As you know, life doesn’t work like that. So this is what I’ve come up for my children. I decided they should be the only judge in their life. In their own worlds, no human or computer gets to judge them. It doesn’t matter what authority or what institution or what person the opposite side is. Only themselves. Only them. They are in charge and they set the standards. They make judgments and they get to evaluate. But the standards for this judging must absolutely come from their hearts. What they think is happiness, which elements bring them to feel happy, what makes them satisfied and what they feel is needed and not. My role is simple. I make sure that those standards don’t cross the line. I make them feel loved and have great self-esteem so that they don’t judge with the wrong eyes and morals. I make sure, everything is discussed, honest, open and acceptable. That’s my job.
That’s my conclusion.