“To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before”

Okay. So I have been pushing this aside and literally forced myself to NOT watch this movie for a while. I wanted to read the book before I saw the movie.

The reason being, I knew it was going to remind me of my high school days. I knew it would bring back flash memories I didn’t want to remember. For some odd reason, as soon as I saw the trailer, it was like the mirror I didn’t want to look into.

I don’t look like the main character or have a caucasian dad. But I did go to a high school that only had a few Asians attending. And so. Yeah.

So yeah. Okay. To be 100 percent honest, I had a really really BIG HUGE crush on this guy back then. It lasted for almost three years. Yeap. He didn’t attend our school for a while and then came back in grade 10. I’m going to stop there and not say anymore cause I’m sure there are people out there who could figure out who he is. Anyways, my crush lasted for almost three years and during those three years, I would write notes to him (I burned them BTW, not like LJ in the movie who kept her letters). I wrote long notes and short notes. I wrote the notes to him every day.

Now that I think about it, I was kinda crazy. Obsessed maybe? I don’t know. It was the only way I could let my feelings kinda settle down. It’s like a big secret I had kept for a really long time. No one knew. Not a soul. But now, you know. Cause you’re reading this. LOL.

Anyways, this movie opened an old journal inside me that I had forgotten about. For a really really long time, I had it hidden deep inside, I had forgotten about it.

I did, however, try to tell him. Just in case you’re curious. Yeap! I was gonna tell him I liked him. I think it was during the 2nd semester of grade 11 or something. I really don’t remember when. But I was going to tell him. I remember that day like it was yesterday.

It was in front of Ms, Knittle’s English class. There were a couple of benches in the corner where there was a big window beside the library. I saw him. Then I saw my friend. And………. they walked up to each other and kissed.

That’s why it was kept as a secret. We still hung out and stuff (both of them) but it was a bit awkward and weird so I kept my distance.

But yeah. That’s when I stopped writing the notes and burned all the ones I had written. So yeah. That’s what’s different about me and this movie. But hey. Watching this movie brought me to tears thinking of my friend from then. Kristin. We’re a bit distant now. Actually we barely keep in touch. But I realized that if it wasn’t for her back then, life would have been a mess. A total mess. She was there through so much of my ups and downs. Boy, do I miss her. I wish we could meet up and catch up!

So weird and ironic how as I’m writing this Lifehouse’s Hanging By a Moment comes on…! Uh!

Good movie. Good movie for Asian Americans to see. Good for teenage girls to see. Good lesson learned. I should have expressed my feelings back then too. But oh well. I’m a mother of three with a great husband by my side. So yeah. LOL, there you have it!

My spur of the moment movie review slash lost in memory lane posting.