It happened. The day I turned thirty five.
Every year, my birthday seemed to pass without worry or any complicated thoughts of getting old. Nothing really made me feel old. Nothing (except the kids) really put my daily routine and my life into a “OMG I’m getting old” kind of phase. I liked becoming a year older. I liked being in my thirties and I loved turning thirty. It made me feel like I was a REAL ADULT. It was different than when I turned 19. Turning 19 was me being a stupid kid just legally becoming an adult. It didn’t REALLY make me an adult. But turning thirty was different. I felt like I was really truly becoming a PERSON, a human being and a really responsible human being. I now had a husband, a child and a full responsibility as an ADULT. That actually made me feel good.
This year, for my birthday, I didn’t do anything out of the ordinary. We celebrated at home. Just the five of us. The kids helped me blow out the candles and I couldn’t ask for anything more special than this. This ordinary, just the five of us was special to me.
But I think as I get a year older, and every year on my birthday. I do miss home. Vancouver. I miss my friends, my UNNI and HYUNGBOO. I miss having the company of people I can just be bare with. People who have known me from when I was just a silly kid who didn’t know anything but dancing. I miss having someone to talk to. Someone I can just spill my guts out and they wouldn’t judge me or say anything but just take everything JUST AS IS. Having a family and these amazing children with me, by my side is the something so blessing and special, but sometimes, just once in a while. I miss having my friends.